The sun shining through the black clouds

Today is like that...a whole, huge, hot bright sun shining through a fairly thick set of black clouds. The clouds have been there for a while, though they are high up and seem fairly far away, they are there. Then there's the sun, some days its not out, but its rays are out shining through...but today, the sun is out.

Met cardio comic this morning for a checkup. He was just delighted with Katelyn. She's been off her medication for at least 5 / 6 weeks now [partly because I eventually got so slap that i wasn't giving it to her - it was killing me!] so he wanted to see how she was holding up without the meds. From the moment he saw her he was impressed - with her colour, her strength, her chatting, her breathing (which i had been worried about). He then examined her, her livers good, the heart murmur feels good and all the other goodies he checked. He said that although she's small - which she is because of the Down Syndrome and heart, but that more importantly her weight / height proportion is perfect.

So, he wants to see us just before she's 1, when he will schedule the operation. Its likely it'll be early April 2011...just after her first birthday. We have a fairly eventful March, so we'll go to him before all that and schedule it for whenever he feels comfortable. He said he estimates she'll be about 7 - 7.5 kg's at the time of surgery and probably only 2 or 2.5 by the time she's 10kg's (thank goodness we didnt have to wait for that!).

Each day I'm reminded how God has the plan all worked out. Just yesterday I was drizzling as i was reading OUR SONSHINE blog, her story of her second pregnancy and birth after her first child also with genetic disorder. I've been thinking alot of it lately, re-living all the same moments we had wtih Katelyn, how it will be, how hard some of it will be, and whether I'll ever get to experience a normal, happy pregnancy ever again. Most likely not, but I'm trusting that each of my pregnancies will be unique, different and teach me something. But I do of course grieve for the fact that I'll never have that, an 'uncomplicated' pregnancy - when I see all those around me experiencing it.
BUT...
Today, I look at my daughter, I see the sun, and I realise I wouldnt change anything for the world. Its hard when those clouds appear, but more and more each day I'm learning to spot the rays of the sun, or the whole sun. Truly blessed.

Dedication 10-10-10

and my favourite...

10-10-10

Feeling very full. So many special friends, special family and a very very special little girl. God is good,to get us to today...such grace! He has her in his hands and has plans for her future-how refreshing that its not all about us.
Will post some pics soon of her dedication day!

Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!

Some pics of what we've been up to...

Katelyn getting really quite stronng, very exciting

Spending time checking out granny's peacock

Very exciting - holding my rattle!!!

Chair physio recommended...and i sit so beautifully in it! yay!

She cracked 5kg's!

Wow - what a special moment. Seeing that 5.27kg's on the scale was literally like seeing the most beautiful sight you could imagine! The previous weight check she had gained 50g in two weeks, this was a 400 odd gain in two weeks! How good God is.

We've started to get out and about...probably to our and her detriment a bit though, because we always end up skipping something, or not feeding her as much, or sleep goes crazy or something - but its been wonderful starting to go on outings as a family. I think one thing that I've felt I've missed is those special few outings in the early-days of parenthood. Ours was blurred by so many things, that its literally taken us 6months to get to the point where going out is a little easier. She's a complete star when we go out generally - but then we get home and its most often chaos. Anyway, its progress.

She's started sleeping through - not that i know what that actually means, but she's going down around 7:30pm and sleeping until 6ish. Two nights down and she's woken up at 6 and 5:15 - still not sure whether i'd prefer to be getting up at 4am and sleeping until 7, or getting up at 5:15! Its really exhausting starting that early...plus...i really don't know what to do with her at that time!

We're having a small dedication for her this coming week, its been quite an internal process working towards it and what we want to dedicate for ourselves and her. So many thoughts. Simon and I had such a special evening talking about it all.

Other than that, she really is a complete joy. So many people just think she's adorable, so do I!

I'm really really exhausted - time to get ready for bed! 8pm!