Thursday, 28 October 2010

The sun shining through the black clouds

Today is like that...a whole, huge, hot bright sun shining through a fairly thick set of black clouds. The clouds have been there for a while, though they are high up and seem fairly far away, they are there. Then there's the sun, some days its not out, but its rays are out shining through...but today, the sun is out.

Met cardio comic this morning for a checkup. He was just delighted with Katelyn. She's been off her medication for at least 5 / 6 weeks now [partly because I eventually got so slap that i wasn't giving it to her - it was killing me!] so he wanted to see how she was holding up without the meds. From the moment he saw her he was impressed - with her colour, her strength, her chatting, her breathing (which i had been worried about). He then examined her, her livers good, the heart murmur feels good and all the other goodies he checked. He said that although she's small - which she is because of the Down Syndrome and heart, but that more importantly her weight / height proportion is perfect.

So, he wants to see us just before she's 1, when he will schedule the operation. Its likely it'll be early April 2011...just after her first birthday. We have a fairly eventful March, so we'll go to him before all that and schedule it for whenever he feels comfortable. He said he estimates she'll be about 7 - 7.5 kg's at the time of surgery and probably only 2 or 2.5 by the time she's 10kg's (thank goodness we didnt have to wait for that!).

Each day I'm reminded how God has the plan all worked out. Just yesterday I was drizzling as i was reading OUR SONSHINE blog, her story of her second pregnancy and birth after her first child also with genetic disorder. I've been thinking alot of it lately, re-living all the same moments we had wtih Katelyn, how it will be, how hard some of it will be, and whether I'll ever get to experience a normal, happy pregnancy ever again. Most likely not, but I'm trusting that each of my pregnancies will be unique, different and teach me something. But I do of course grieve for the fact that I'll never have that, an 'uncomplicated' pregnancy - when I see all those around me experiencing it.
Today, I look at my daughter, I see the sun, and I realise I wouldnt change anything for the world. Its hard when those clouds appear, but more and more each day I'm learning to spot the rays of the sun, or the whole sun. Truly blessed.

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