Its been 2.5 months. I've had a half 'real' job. Real it is...but technically half-day.
Its been a fascinating journey since I started working. There's the whole leaving, being organised, child ready and prepared for what may lie ahead for the day...but that's just a side-line and can be as big a deal as you make of it (I think!!!!).
What's been interesting to me, is people's responses to the fact that I'm now formally working after 19 months of being at home (or in hospital should I say :) ). I get many 'congrats, so great that you ready for that now', 'must be so nice to have some other stimulation', 'so happy for you that you can have a bit of your life back', 'you've done so well so far, time for a bit of a change'. I've found it quite strange trying to process what people perceive that I may be now, or the point I've reached, or whatever else they thinking.
Truth is, I wasn't looking for a job. It just happened. It happened quickly too. No time for planning, preparation, organisation and all that. I'm ONLY doing it, because I'm so interested in the work...and the financial benefit is an enormous blessing to the household.
I feel like others are defining me as something different now because I'm working. I don't want to be defined by what I do with my time, but by who I am. I don't want to be defined as someone with a special needs child, who's working half-day...I want to be defined as a person with real character-traits, with a sense of humour, who cares, supports, loves, enjoys life. That's other, but most importantly, I don't want to feel I'm more valuable now that I'm working, I want to find my security in who I am, not by what I do.
**Yes, so on the side...I enjoy the work. But it does come at a big cost. Katelyn needs lots of particular, specialised attention, and her medical needs in the past few months are incredible difficult to keep on top of, so it creates a general average state of chaos in the household. Without my amazing husband, we'd be nowhere. Who knows where the year ahead takes us, but as long as we're true to who we are and what's important, that's my true desire. **