Wednesday, 13 June 2012

The light always comes

I have been mulling some things over in my head for a while now. Its a mesh of different thoughts, feelings and ideas...much more than the 3 that I can put down tonight :)

I have miscarried twice in the past 5 months. Both at 10 weeks. Both gave me enough time to really think about the fact that I was going to have another baby, think about us as a family, Katelyn, practicalities and also the random little things that come up in those first 6 weeks. So it was enough time to feel that I really lost something, to bring back my fears of pregnancy. I'm so grateful to God for carrying me through both those times with such tenderness, and even though it's been hard, I've managed to remain positive, full of faith and able to move forward.

The 'extra time' of this current season has allowed me so much.
A feeling of being so much more present in my time with Katelyn, which is such an enormous one for me - especially as she reaches new milestones.
A feeling of not being so absorbed in your own world but having the chance to take a step away from your immediate life, be reminded of the big world we live in, that there are always more people to meet and the opportunity to deepen relationships.
Making a decision to really make the most of this time not trying to rush it away, but enjoying what it offers us.

They are small things (and there are others), but I feel that God has shown me the joy of this season. It's not all plain sailing, but the light always comes.

a very cute and happy day :)                                  p.s. I seriously adore this kid :)

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