Wednesday - Saturday (Day 1 - Day 4)
Katelyn has been doing relatively well. Her progress has been slow, but there have been no major setbacks which is always something to be grateful for. She had started becoming more awake and aware after 2 days of being heavily sedated and drugged up. She wasn't the happiest in the world, and having her hands tied down (to stop her from pulling out the ventilator, 4 drains and tube in her nose, lines etc!) really was frustrating for her and very frustrating to watch. They were hoping to get her off the ventilator on friday, but for some reason they didnt feel she was ready for it so waited until saturday. She struggled with breathing after it came off, and luckily our incredible nurse worked hard on her to keep her breathing clear and to help her out as much as possible. The nurse also kept her hands bandaged up, but allowed them to move around, so she could at least move her arms but not really pull anything out.
When life stands-still
I don’t really want to recall the experience in detail, or maybe I’m not ready to yet, but the details are not important. For a moment on Saturday night just before we left, Katelyn’s heart stopped. We were there. We were asked to leave as they started chest compressions on her little body, right over her surgery cut. A minute later (not that I had any idea of timing, but it felt like a lifetime) she was fine, besides incredibly sore from the ‘clinical’ effects, and of course from numerous hard compressions on an incredibly tender area. I don’t think one can ever explain what its like to witness and believe for a moment that it’s all over - besides feeling like my entire life was over. In that moment, all we could do was pray, though we had no words to say.
The details around it were unfortunate, it was really a ‘technical glitch’ and the doctors and nurses know and admitted it. Most importantly Katelyn is fine and they assure us that there are no implications for her.
It really shook me. It reminded me of how incredibly fragile life is, how we can become so casual and take so much for-granted. It reminded me that God was in control and the only one that we can turn to in times of distress. I cannot imagine how empty I would feel if I didn’t have that to hold onto.
I love her more than ever.
** Wed 31 August - She’s had her pacemaker surgery and is back on a ventilator – hopefully will get removed today. Praying for rapid recovery after this last hurdle is overcome!**